Hip Surgery...now I'm a real hipster!

So the date was set June 28th. I was to have my "deformity" un-deformed. First case of the day which meant 5:30 am call time...and we live 1.5 hours away. Do I go to sleep or just keep watching the Law and Order marathon? Tough call.

Off we went, my last time on two legs for 6 weeks.

My uniform. These hairnets and socks never stop looking...well, blue and butt ugly. I think a serious revamping in hospital fashion is in order. At least my feet will be warm in toasty while I'm in traction.

I get my nerve block in my hip, to help with the pain after, however it did not take as soon as they were hoping. I had some down time so I grabbed the binder with my name on it and thumbed through my chart. I came across a note from Dr. Love (cardiologist) clearing me for surgery, in his letter he referred to me as "educated and lovely patient who was a pleasure to treat" - I was feeling the love. Then they took away my binder. Boo. They wheeled me in and all of a sudden images of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens came to mind....whole new meaning to "getting on the table.

AHHHHHHH!!!! Traction Table

Mind you, they did not give me the sweet orange unitard. I thought this only happened once a year at the OBGYN...nope. My leg still was not numb so I put my own legs in the boot, they put the oxygen mask over my face and counted backwards from 10, I remember 8 then I awoke in recovery with my nurse, Mim.

Matt came in. Nerve block still not working so pain, lots of pain. Mim came to the rescue with some morphine and then performed a bedside Reiki treatment. Yes folks, this happened. Mim, the wonderful of the West and East. Lucky me...like I said, i'm always one for a bargain. I hung in recovery for a few hours and was moved to my recovery suite (don't be fooled, you only get to stay here once the juice wears off). Nerve block - finally working!!!!! - I think it was the magic of Mim. 

Matt and I had time to snap this for the family photo album

We left at 4am and got home just 12 hours later. For 6-8 hours a day, I would be strapped to yet another bionic looking machine. You know when you get the cart at the grocery store with the jacked up wheel? That was my version of the CPM machine for my leg. The sales rep got into an accident on his way to delivering it a mile from my house, I think they forgot to total the machine along with the car. poor guy had to come out on Saturday to replace it. They put the fuzzy fake sheepskin on it to entice you to use it, like "oh hey, that might be comfy - so comfy I could sleep in it!" LIES!

CPM Machine + Ice + Pink Pj Pants

2  Week Post - Op Thoughts:

- Crutches suck...hard. Cup Holder?

- Modesty goes out the window - you need help with EVERYTHING

- If you have any responsibilities at all, you can't do them so stop trying

- Yes, you need to have someone pick up your leg for you for a month

- If you drop something on the floor, fuck it - you can't bend over

- Shaving your legs? Get a friend with a steady hand whom you trust...a lot

- Leave a light on when you are crutching to the bathroom. in the dark.

- Close your eye- poof! - you are an infant trapped in an adult body - completely dependent for your basic needs.

- You are not alone. Lady Gaga and A-Rod had the same surgery. World Tours and World Series -      think of the things YOU will be able to do!

- Your arms are gonna be buff, look out Michelle Obama

- Netflix instant queue - I will dominate you!