The story:
Matt goes for an Epic mountain bike adventure on Saturday. Flying through the woods, trees and tall grasses. I stayed home and binged on pumpkin seeds and Law and Order. Matt then walked around in "tall farm grass" with his super dark denim jeans on and a black shirt. I was still waist deep in Law and Order. He came home, took a shower - PUT THE JEANS BACK ON! Since I am not a jean inspector - I was living in blissful ignorance.
Matt and I lay on our super comfy couch and catch up on Bar Rescue. We watched raccoons climb on bar tops and people melt down and cry. Good times were had by all. Fast forward to the following morning...
I am taking a nice leisurely shower. The kind where you put itunes on and turn the volume up really loud and shampoo your hair twice, just because it's Sunday - and you can. You look down and notice something, you think - weird, I don't remember that freckle. You then think, maybe it was a rouge seed (you did have a binge-a-thon on the pumpkin variety) so you try and brush it away. Nope. You realize this is NOT a freckle. Commence major-fucking-panic-shit storm -freakout in 3....2.....1 it was a tick.
It was still attached. There I stood, soap in my hair, my eye and fear coursing through my veins. I yelled to Matt in the, "Something is very WRONG here" voice. He came up. I was hyperventilating and stammered, " I thinkkkkk.....thee thheerrreee iss aaaa aaaa tt ii ccckkkkk on me." I jump out of the shower. Matt goes through the formal inspection. Skin Tag? No. Flax Seed? No. It was a tick.
Why does this shit happen to me on a SUNDAY. When there is no one to call, no one to confirm my worst tick-mare. I sit and panic. Matt takes his second shower, we wash everything. I suppose we could not burn the super duper dark manly skinny jeans. That would be unfair....I think.
Matt vacuumed the couch. I sat, tick-ified. Immediately flashes of Bells Pasly, PICC lines, spinal taps, hospital stays, antibiotics were zipping around my head. Last time I never saw the tick. This time I did. This time it was embedded in my skin. This time...will it be like last time?
I called my trusty Dr (George) who treated me before. I got a nurse, "Oh I am sure he will want you to come in." But I can't I am working ALL day! George calls me, he is out of the office - but gives me his personal cell. I call back, deep breathes...George always knows what to do. He then tells me that...its time for antibiotics again. That because the tick was dead when we pulled it off, there was a slightly increased chance... Chance of??? I knew all there was to know about Lyme disease. I thought it was over....
So today as I picked up my prescription of Doxy and looked at the label, I saw the chilling words "For Lyme Disease." So kids what have we learned? You can be afraid of going outside or trail running or walking leisurely in the woods. You can be so terrified that you would rather hide under a blanket most of the time watching Law and Order. But it doesn't matter. I was bit by a tick IN MY OWN HOUSE. Seriously...yes, this is true life folks.
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Takeaway: Keep watching Law and Order. Avoid people wearing dark clothing that frolic in tall grass. Avoid...everything if you live in Chester County. Time to Move?
